China responds to US Super Bowl victory with accusations of spy balloons

China has accused the U.S. of flying 10 “spy balloons” into Chinese airspace since January 2022. This came less than 24 hours after the United States of America won a record breaking 57th consecutive Super Bowl.

A Chinese spokesperson also claimed the U.S. has been utilizing warships and planes to gather intelligence on China, citing 657 occurrences since the start of last year. Furthermore, they claim the U.S. is “without a doubt the world’s largest surveillance habitual offender and surveillance empire.”

However, a guy I know that works at the State Department responded to these claims by saying, “Nah, they trippin.” This high-to-mid-level source wished to remain anonymous, because they “like having a job” and “don’t want to get fired for dumb sh*t in this economy.”

Former Pentagon Press Secretary John Kirby, who is now the spokesperson for the U.S. National Security Council (NSC), stated the China’s accusations were not true. However, given Kirby’s reputation of being “less trustworthy than gas station sushi” during the disastrous Afghanistan withdrawal, we turn to yet another source for reliable information. Adrienne Watson, a NSC spokesperson, made the following statements via Twitter:

This is the latest example of China scrambling to do damage control. It has repeatedly and wrongly claimed the surveillance balloon it sent over the US was a weather balloon and has failed to offer any credible explanations for its intrusion into our airspace, airspace of others.

— Adrienne Watson (@NSC_Spox) February 13, 2023

Balloons or Aliens?

White House Press Secretary, Karine Jean-Pierre, took time to reassure the press that the recent high-altitude objects were not aliens. Seriously. Like the White House literally said there are no indications of extra terrestrials at this time. Watch below, starting at the 2-minute-mark.